I think I finally understood my mother

So I want to make an announcement. I will not be going to Brazil for the summer. Unfortunately my idiot of a non-boss didn't realize how difficult it would be to get my visa so offered me a position he could never provide. He had never hired an international worker and was too something to really talk to HR and realize this takes effort. So decided to lead me on for far too long and promise me a position he couldn't come through on.

I found this all out on friday after two days of waiting after receiving and email from him saying this: I need to talk to you asap- then waited a two days before telling me the news when I was available to talk right then and there.

But I guess the sad part was I had already turned down another position, terminated my apartment contract and complained to my parents all about there disbelief.

I avoided telling my parents fearing what they would say and finally after pulling it together enough by talking to enough people I was able to call my mother and talk to her. And she was a saint. And was so nice to me and did everything right. And then told me it made her sad that I didn't call her first and waited to tell everyone else before I told her. And I finally got her. I would feel the same way but I just couldn't face my mother even if only on the phone. I think she just wants to be my friend, and the person I can turn to. And all I want to do is go home and see my parents. Which is a huge first for me, which might make me a terrible person, but I just think it makes me an honest person.

I think I might be understanding my parents as adults and not just parents. And that in itself is enough of a reason to have my life be thrown to pieces and rebuilt.

Hopefully I will have lots of good news soon when I hear about my housing and internship options. I will let you all know as soon as I do.

hope all is well and talk to your parents
love,
J