a sample of office IM conversations

(names changed but otherwise completely unedited)

D (1:18:35 PM): i dont recommend stealing one of the cookies from the coffee room. they look decent but they taste like crap patties.
Boss (1:37:00 PM): dear newbie- that was a rookie kitchen move
Boss(1:37:04 PM): I never had plans to taste test
D (1:37:16 PM): dear boss: never again
Boss(1:37:27 PM): you have learned from this experience
D (1:37:30 PM): i have so much to learn, master
Boss (1:37:47 PM): at least you understand this and are willing to partake in my knowledge
D (1:37:55 PM): *bow*

****

cubegirl1(1:39:13 PM): OMG did you hear that?
cubegirl1 (1:39:16 PM): that woman's obnox homemade ringtone was changed!
D (1:39:19 PM): i heard...
cubegirl1(1:39:20 PM): its no longer her bratty child saying mammmaaa aweelamma!
D (1:39:27 PM): right. now its the bratty kid saying heehaw heeehaw.
cubegirl1 (1:39:31 PM): HAHAHA
cubegirl1 (1:39:42 PM): not sure if it's much of an improvement
daisyfreund (1:39:48 PM): yeahNO
cubegirl1 (2:55:42 PM): also window woman is sooo annoying with her hacking coughs
cubegirl1 (2:55:58 PM): they're infiltrating my cube
cubegirl1 (2:56:02 PM): i can feel them sneaking in
cubegirl1 (3:03:35 PM): i'm going to stuff something down her throat. a marshmellow, maybe.
cubegirl1 (3:03:42 PM): cough NOW woman.
cubegirl1 (3:03:43 PM): hahahahaha
D (3:03:51 PM): pure evil
D(3:04:01 PM): i just spooked hard at this man walking by the womens bathroom as i went out the door. i screamed, he screamed, it was very odd.
cubegirl1 (3:05:15 PM): HAHA
cubegirl1 (3:05:16 PM): screamed, like SCREAMED?
D(3:05:27 PM): well not AHHHHHH!
D(3:05:34 PM): more like ahh!
cubegirl1 (3:57:31 PM): i just ate four marshmellows. and now i have marshie on my chair
cubegirl1 (3:57:35 PM): it's probably on my bottom too.
cubegirl1 (3:57:46 PM): i may need you to look
D (3:57:58 PM): wow. wow.
cubegirl1 (3:58:07 PM): I hear you laughing! I can't walk around like this!
cubegirl1 (3:58:15 PM): and I can't see it myself. im trying but it hurts.
D (3:58:24 PM): oh GOD THIS OFFICE IS ENTERTAINING
cubegirl1(3:59:40 PM): you love it
daisyfreund (4:00:08 PM): love. it.