Damn I am never going on a date

I know its officially past my post time, but I found this, (yes on my daily cnn read) and NEEDED to pass it along.

maybe me and my redheaded lover will never date after all.

Peeing my pants, crawling in the corner and throwing my hands in the Airrrrrrr

So it seems so soon since I last posted, but it is tuesday again.  And since it seems so close to my last post it must mean I didn't make nearly as much work as I should have.  Damn it. It's true.  I am in a tiny rut and need to make my way out of it.  I have been in the studio these last few evenings and instead of making real work I have been learning techniques and e-mailing people at Dartmouth and Stanford about applying, but sorta neglecting the actual portfolio.  Trying to get back on track is a little difficult. I have so many ideas running through my head, I can't settle down, and then I get side tracked so nothing is in a presentable state. And I am very confused by the difference between craft, art, high art, design and my voice.  I read theories on it, but at the end seem a little more confused than before and wonder why one day I am making large party earrings, the next a plexi chair you can use as a piggy bank and then the next a word templet in the design of children's learning tools that teach people how to write shit, fuck and motherfucker. That last word might be too derivative of fuck, still working on that. 

I have seen all my Art professors and they are on board with Stanford and helping me, and now I am waiting on my engins prof who i am very afraid is not on board.  Lets see what happens in the next week.  As much as I mingle with Professors and love them and talk to them about drinking, sex and paying rent anytime the topic approaches my own work ALL I WANT TO DO IS DIE IN THE CORNER.  I think it has something to do with respect and admiration and sorta elevating them to gods.  It's like they can do no wrong.  And although some of them I don't love on personal levels I still have such high respect for them that they say one thing and i feel the pee creeping out and go back to wanting to die in the corner.  Today I was asked how i managed to get the Artist-In-Residence position.  Because well in the Art field thats a big deal and typically doesn't happen this early in life.  And lets be real, I couldn't get that position anywhere else but Dartmouth at this stage in my life, but still I got it even if it was a fluke. So my response, " A miracle?" It was a miracle I didn't break through the glass of the Jaffe Friede Gallery running away so quickly.  

So now I am trying to light a firecracker to jam in my underwear in hopes that I don't make all these respected professionals question my dedication and passion to be a real artist. (and most of the time all I want to call myself is a designer so who knows what I want, No I know, I want to be referred to by my first name like Martha.)

Thankfully my office job is going well, just super busy. And I know myself, I can EASILY throw myself into that and not make work, so I am trying to get the leg work in now and ease off in a few days.  So it is so intensive b/c I am recruiting for the Arts club and trying to get that off the floor and its difficult.  It means lots of blitzing, lots of writing, lots of paperwork and lots of running.  But the meeting went well yesterday and today I got to interview for my intern.  Yes me, I get an intern.  But strangely enough I only make $6.70 more than he or she will, and after my taxes, and their non taxes probably the difference is more like $3.00 but Regardless I get an intern and that should be fun.  I had SEVEN interviews today, who knew working with me would be such an in demand job.  And it sorta sucks, b/c there are 3 who I really liked, 1 of which would do a good job and the other 2 who i feel personally connected to.  There are 2 who would do a good job and are trying hard but I didn't fall madly in love with and 2 who were dudy.  So I don't want to turn them down but alas I can only pick 1. I am trying to get the others jobs in the hop but I don't know if they will work out. 

Surprise surprise, I have taken a new lover, he is 31 and could provide me the mexican redheaded babies I so desire.  But he is 31 and probably sees me as a student and probably has a wife and kid/s at home.  I haven't given up hope but I probably won't venture out to say more than "Hi, can you give me that poster to hand out at my meeting" so he may never know of my love, and maybe that's a good thing.  OR he already knows about my love and smiles at me because he feels sad that I can't seem to find a nice young man who is my own age. Ladies I will keep you updated, but i feel like maybe I have more luck getting my teenage pop star by the name of jesse than the current love.  

Can someone tell me why I didn't go into the Entertainment business.  I listen to a NYC radio station at all times when I am alone. I have tried to ignore people and listen when they can hear in the background of my desk in the j-shop, or when it is my turn to pick the music, but other people totally judge.  All the enlightened Dartmouth students prefer to listen to NPR or some hipster music, not my JLO and morning pranks.  They apparently think discussions on elderly strippers and listening to Flo-Rider is inane.  They can kiss my ass. Sorry guys that has been bothering me all damn week.  I read CNN, the NY Times and random blogs on a very regular basis. And no not just the design, fashion and style sections. I know the 411, I am following as much as my little brain can follow, but sometimes I just need to hear a possible list of elderly stripper names, or throw my hands in the air at the command of the Black Eyed Peas, or listen to a prank call on renting out a house for a porno. That isn't everyones cup of tea, but I think I should get respect for my special flavor. 

Ok I should probably get back to work or at least kill this damn fly that has been bothering me the ENTIRE time I have been writing.  Till next week!

so confused...could be the weed.

confused by so many things.

such as the list posted below by JE. 

mice, roofies and trading spaces. oh my.

also confused by this video, just sent to me by an old classmate, which features my middle school latin/english/drama teacher, ashton crosby, who, as far as i know, was fired from my school on accusation of fondling the wee ones.  

an accusation i didnt have to stretch too far to believe.

and who apparently is now doing college humor videos??

this is one of MANY in which he is featured. 

very confusing.

also confused about life which is nothing new.

i have to decide tomorrow (PANIC) whether or not to take the burson marsteller job in new york and ladies, i still have no idea. no idea. none. 

one minute i lean hard in the direction of taking it because i dont have any other options at the present and at least id be doing something productive and putting something on my resume besides "june 2008-present: lifetime movie expert, cat caretaker, and incredible blob" 

and the next i think, this is not your job, this is not your city, keep searching, the second coming of the great depression doesn't necessarily mean you have to panic and take a job if its not right. 

confused by that too.

but like i said, it could be residual effects of the time i spent last night completely, wonderfully out of my damn mind.

a very special friend of mine, lets call her B, (who i might add is an avid reader of this blog! and my other! which i think makes her my only reader!) brought over some of the great green wonder and we danced like monkeys with epilepsy for about three hours, laughing at our situations and loving every moment of it.

heres the song we got the biggest kick out of: 

Boomp3.com

wait wait! it was actually this ratatat remix that we REALLY got down to!
Boomp3.com

picture me at a hippie hoedown walking it off like zoolander all over the poolhouse and you'll have some idea of how this played out.

we scared the cat. ill just say that.

no closer to a decision, but it was worth it to take life less seriously for a brief moment.

how often in our lives can we act like complete and utter fools and know that the people we're with wont judge us, not even a little bit? 

well, in my case, pretty often since i have you four and B and some other quality people who have all watched me dance naked with my hair standing on end. without drugs.

but what if i cant be around you because of where i move for work? 

ill start taking myself way too seriously! 

its been a long week.

beautiful in some ways, but long.

im going into the city tomorrow and then im off on friday for ten days. ill miss two posts in a row! but ill be thinking of each of you and will be so excited to read everything when i get back.

bye yall.

who am i kidding, im sure ill talk to each of you in the next 24 hours. 

ACCCK NO INTERNET LAND

yes my friends. i live in a world with no internet. i did not forget to post, i just spent a week in trading spaces marathon edition with my dad--seriously i stayed up til 3:30 painting and managed to get to Thursday after arriving in DC Monday without a shower. madness. and now, i want to post longer, but after spending hours figuring out training pre-work at this little internet cafe, i need to rush home for the exterminator--yes, we have mice. so a quick rundown of the week:

managed to:

-paint the entire downstairs
-make numerous trips to Target, bed bath and beyond and random places all over the place for craigslist furniture (if i have to lift another chest...)
-get something slipped into my drink at a bar and become violently ill
-fall prey to the ubiquitous DC mousquito... for reals, they are nasty here. why did they build our nation's capitol on a swamp?
-make other interesting decisions that just cant even be posted.

yeah. that pretty much covers it. off to meet the man of my dreams--pest control guy. woo!

musical life lessons

so i sadly have nothing super exciting to report, still plugging away on the job search/LSAT studying, luckily though i've found that i get a lot of frustration out not only through yoga but also through being judgey in LSAT class, which i KNOW isn't good, but really is sort of unavoidable given the cast of characters in this class. between "too much information guy" (apparently he hasn't been getting much sleep since he and is girlfriend and fighting), and "community service girl" (isn't it weird that EVERY reading reminds her of her 'cultural experience' in japan, or indonesia, or cambodia?.....ugh) and the girl who literally repeats everything that comes out of the instructors mouth (ex. instructor: "so b is incorrect" girl: "so you're saying that b is.....wrong?), it's quite the experience.

anywho, i know several of you have heard all of this before, so i was thinking that my weekly thing on this blog (since a is clearly filling the animal video role, and j is filling the teeney bopper role--question mark??? i still don't know how i feel about that) would be life lessons for us all (slash maybe just for me) through the wonderful world of BROADWAY. this song is from [title of show] which is currently on broadway, and which i am DYING to see. it's basically a musical about two guys who are writing a musical. and it's fantastic. period. anyways, here's a number from it, its a little wacky, but fun! listen!! (and really do listen since i know 95% of the broadway stuff i send you all you don't actually watch but merely respond with "fun! great jazz hands!) below it is a highlight clip of the show......

I totally forgot to post

Yep I did it, I was the first one to forget to post. Sorry guys. I'm going to go ahead and blame it my impending trip and all the craziness of preparing. In fact right now I'm taking a break from trying to prune down the clothing options so that they fit into my suitcase. I have to say that I'm do not feel prepared at all for this trip, it seems to come out of nowhere. My life has just been kind of a plateau up until this point and even though I've known that this trip was happening, it was hard to imagine it as a reality when my daily existence is so uneventful. It doesn't help that I have next to no information going into this trip. All I know is what cities we will be in which days, but I have no idea what we will actually be doing when there, how we will be getting around, etc. That does make packing a bit more of crap shoot. But despite all the unknown, I'm so excited to be going. I'm ready for the adventure.

I will probably not be able to post for the next two weeks, but if I do have internet access I will definitely keep you updated!

Some parting gifts!

This is for Lily in particular





And this video is an oldie but a goodie, all the more bittersweet since one of the adorable otters has apparently passed on




Well that's all for now, more to come soon!!

I have taken a lover and finally turned 15

Hello ladies,

Firstly I would like to say how excited I am by this blog, it is quite an interesting experience.  And I am so glad you are all doing it.  But now on with my post and out with my lover.

So yes, yet again I have taken a lover. He is a year younger and looks 12 but can he sing.  He is Jesse Mccartney.  I don't think any relation, but if there is lily you better call me ASAP. So how did I find this lover, well I have known about him since high school when he released the album "Beautiful Soul" and was on the hit TV show, Summerland.  I couldn't have been the only one who watched that show, someone please back me up. Well He has released a new album and well it is kickass. Okay so I haven't heard the entire CD but if it is anything like this song then it is amazing.

So yes I love this song and thus I love him.  You know I am pretty transparent about the reasons for my love.  But then I saw the following clip and decided that he and I needed to make children

I mean do I need to say anything more.  And really watch those clips.

And talking about babies, i just got facebook friended by a kid that I went to high school with and I think he is married and has two children.  I can't really imagine what that is like.  I don't think I could raise 2 seedlings let alone 2 children.  That freaked me out. 

And talking about children, I realized I just turned 15, woot. So you know I went through my teeny bopper stage, I thought I was over that. You know when Brit Brit had babies I figured I could live without teenagers singing to me and getting all goo goo eyed.  But alas, not true.  Obviously my new lover is sorta teeny bopper, but he is trying to do the sexy R&B, I am Justin Timberlake thing, so we can forgive him.  But The Jonas Brothers and Miley do not deny their teenness.  Is anyone else obsessed with Love Bug.  Maybe its just me. 

On more mature notes, my jobs are going well.  I really am enjoying my time at the Hop.  I am always doing something and its fun.  Lets hope it keeps up this way. AND best of all I get to wear jeans at all times and get to meet cool people. I am just worried about applying to grad school. I have so much work to do.  It is really overwhelming if I think about it at once.  I try not to do that, but right before I go to bed is really difficult because I think about all the things I could, should be doing and it stresses me out.  But I am trying to do breathing exercises and mentally calming things.  All i need to do is get into Stanford then get my life back later.  Lets all cross our fingers for me.  I talked to a grad from the Product design program today at 3pm and she was really great and made me really excited about the opportunity. It seems like a perfect fit for me.  First Dartmouth then the hop then Stanford and an engineering husband and my life will be complete, ok not but close. 

and on the living situation.  Things are really working out.  I mean I am living very poorly and will at one point this week only have 30 dollars to my name but  ehh who really needs money. And i really like 3 of 4 of my roommates.  They are really great and funny. The other one is a straight crazy.  And we all except for the crazy one realize that we had been targeted by her.  She complained to each of us about how much noise we make. So now that we know we are in the majority we are going to take control back from that crazy.  Other than that I like living here.  It is nice, I like cooking for myself and it is a house which is always good.  

Okay Ladies it has been fun, can't wait to hear what you guys have to say!

love, 

J

Bonus Posting

Since I will probably miss a post (or two) on my travels, I thought I'd throw in a random weekend bonus post.

Enjoy!


This is about the RNC but I think still relevant/worth watching





I love this women. There are lots more where this came from...




And this video is in honor of this blog and you lovely ladies!

running in circles

First of all, way to go girls for actually making it through the first week!
I’m impressed no one forgot to post or, you know, accidentally deleted the whole blog.
And I’m including myself in that.
As I write this I’m on a ferry going from Orient Point, NY to New London CT. Ill be wandering around New England for a few days, interviewing and visiting people I miss. My grandmother. Hopefully J. Hopefully M, too but im trying not to count on that.

The combination of wind and sun is making it one of those incredible pre-fall crispy days where animals run in circles for no reason.
And I’m including humans in that.
Everyone from Petunia who leapt out the door this morning and tore around the yard like shed been bitten in the butt, to the dozens of cyclists and runners I passed on my way here, to the child I just watched scamper by spastically… everyone’s feeling good.
Its amazing the variety of ways we express the the joy that bubbles up inside us on a glorious day… For much of my drive I was encased in a pack of suburban bikers- leather clad dads who wheel out the Harley on Sundays and cruise, unsmilingly, up and down the Island. That’s their way, I guess.
I felt like I was in a motorcade. It was kind of great.
But it’s actually bittersweet that I’m on this ferry today. For eight years at exactly this time of year, give or take a few days, this crossing has meant I was on my way back to school. And at the risk of entering sappyland, I realize now more than ever, in a backwards way, this trip meant I was going home.
Today I feel none of the excitement, elation, anticipation of returning to someplace full of traditions I looked forward to or people I can be myself around. I know I have exciting things to do and people to see on this trip (and in life in general,) but for whatever reason I feel like I’m floating above myself with dissapointingly little perspective on the bigger picture. I'm going through the motions of my days as an out of body experience.
But then I get frustrated with myself, after all I made choices that led me away from having routine for the sake of routine, security for the sake of security. I believed in those choices and I still do, so then I'm constantly trying to enjoy the “freedom” and recognize how lucky I am, trying to be satisfied by the worth of each day without questioning what its all leading to.
Jesus I feel seasick.
That’s not a metaphor, I actually feel like i'm going to hurl. This goddamn boat is rocking like a mother.
At least I’m doing better than the guy to my left who’s leaning off the side of the boat looking about as green as an oompa loompa.
His wifes patting his back which is nice but I hope she realizes she’s down wind…
Its funny in the absence of a job or routine, I have become even more of a people watcher than I already was. Though there’s a different motivation these days.
Before, I watched in part to store away information for plays: body language between a couple, a great snippet of dialogue, (I just heard, “well if your sister wasn’t a lesbian it wouldn’t be so awkward to bring her to the circus”…question mark) and I'd be lying if I didn’t admit I watched people in part for the satisfaction of smacking down a completely unsubstantiated judgment.
Love that judging.
But these days I watch to learn. More than I ever did in my 18 years as a student, I find myself frantically seeking out learning opportunities. Whether its listening to NPR or devouring brochures on random diseases I find in a waiting room or studying people around me, I seem to be cramming for a test on life that I’m already starting to take.
And for which I feel majorly unprepared.
The point is: I am in transit. In every way.
And I miss each of you and I’m excited for all of your various adventures, even if im struggling with my own, even as I know you are all struggling for your own reasons, and I hope this wasn’t too much of a downer to start your week but when I actually post this I’m going to find some kind of insane picture to add below to send you off on a high note.
yep. this should do it:

Who needs a salary when you can have showtunes and yoga?

So as I have informed at least some of you, I have decided to embrace yoga in place of not currently having a "job" (so overrated), and not just any yoga...HOT yoga, meaning yoga in 110 degrees. Yeah. And by "embraced", I really mean I went on Monday, but! I did quite enjoy it, the heat makes you feel a little more intense-o, and my instructor, Petra, is a strapping German gal with a strong accent. I intended to go everyday this week, but managed to sleep through it/arrive late everyday including today until I realized that there was also a noon class! AND as I discovered, the noon class is slightly less hard-core, its only 90 degrees and instead of the passive-aggressive-soccer mom early morning crowd, its more the 65+ with a couple hip replacements crowd. Much more my scene. Really. The noon class is also led not by Petra but by Laurie, an aging hippie who I'm fairly certain just makes up some of the yoga poses (Is "swinging bear" a pose? I'm no expert but I sense not.) Anywho, the yoga really has been a good distraction from the LSAT studying, the babysitting (although yesterday, after 4+ hrs with evil Barrett the 4-year old, we invented a lovely game called "if i hit you with the ball, i get a point"...I did quite well at it), and the job search which is more frustrating right now than anything else. Hence the yoga, and the showtunes! (per usual) I saw Avenue Q earlier this week, which was fantastic! I felt this song especially relates to our/my current situation, (and as I can't figure out how to link music as of yet--maybe by next week-- I just linked a youtube file, sorry!).




Worst comes to worst though, I'm still planning on this as my back up job--anyone else in??? Think of how great it would be on a resume! I want to be either the dancing eggplant or the tomato.

Of Family Functions, Ponytailed Greeks and Packing

Well, ladies, i had lots of thoughts earlier about how to begin this bloggarific adventure in a funny/smart/sassy kind of way (Think maybe a blond Tina Fey? Ps have you seen her Palin impression yet? google it. for realsies.).
All of those thrilling ideas are now out the window however because
I. am. a tad. drunk.

And not in the "woo I had a few shots, I'm going to dance on my rof and write crazy blog entries" kind of way.

In the "I had too much red wine at the function I went to with my parents, and now am resisting a very strong urge to curl up and sleep like two-year-old on benadryl" kind of way.

So please excuse me if this entry is short, misspelled, mainly factual, and utterly a snooze. Can't help it. I'm practically snoozing already.

So quickly:

I move to DC Tuesday. I only made these plans this past monday, after signing a lease this past friday, and having only arrived home from recklessly snogging frenchies and greeks on the tuesday before that (hi, Adonis, if you are out there--I have to say your cigarette breath and your pushiness in bed really ruined things for me, but thanks for the free drinks).

You know that scene in monty python where the knight keeps coming toward the tower without ever getting any closer, and then suddenly arrives? That's my summer, and my current frantic state of packing. The good thing about parents who keep remarrying is there's a lot of excess furniture stored all over the place--you just have to ask/reclaim it.

Ok, seriously falling asleep now. I leave you with this: me driving a 17ft uHAUL for 12 hours on Tuesday:

Hump Day!

Fun fact: Flappers had their own slang, with terms like "snugglepup" (a man who frequents petting parties) and "barney-mugging" (sex)

Snugglepup I can understand, but "barney-mugging"? I'd be curious to know that etymology.

Anyhoo,

So I'm still here at home, which has it's ups and downs (today i have to say was a bit of a down, hence the late posting, but it was talked out). For lack of a better description, I'm trying to "figure things out." That involves a lot of research and a lot sitting around not having the answers. I think I'm building up the energy and strength to make some of the decisions and do some of the things I know I need to do. I feel in the middle part, or "neutral zone," of major transition. I'm trying to redefine and reorient myself. It's an interesting dynamic to try and make a new life in an old place.

Wish I could report something a little more action oriented, but alas that is not the case in the moment. However that should be changing pretty soon, I'm going to China in a little over a week! Then after I get back I will be turning around and heading out to Cleveland (another hot destination spot) for Dan's mother's wedding (which i don't have a dress for, okay fashion oriented friends, what do you wear to a fall wedding in the midwest that is going to be outdoors? could be raining to very cold to very hot - please advise) then in November I'm going to Vegas, where I hope not to discover a gambling problem, and possibly Chicago for the American Academy of Religion annual meeting with Mom. Actually all of these planned trips are with my mother, hmm...

Okay, so more later, but until then I will leave you with a couple of songs from a local band I heard play at a bar I went to one night (one of the actual exciting things I've done)

that is if I can figure out how to upload music...

Boomp3.com

Boomp3.com

This was too good

to wait to post... the rest of my hump day posting coming soon... until then, enjoy!

Life from Hanover

Hi ladies 

So I am in Hanover.  I arrived with my parents on saturday at 9:30 in the morning. For those of you who aren't from the NY region that means we left NY at 4 in the morning. Yes on the lovely saturday I was dragged out of bed at 4 am to begin my journey back to the big H-town.  And after 4 days here I am ok with living in Hanover, except there are tons of little children running around today with their parents since it is that all famous Move In day.  Thankfully I stayed far far away from the panicking people in the shelter of the Hop.

I officially began work yesterday at 11:30. I entered into the jewelry studio as happy as a girl can be.  and within 3 hours I had helped make 25 rings for overly enthusiastic freshmen, gotten a second job offer (more on that later) and spilled white liquidly paste all over my new shirt and pants.  So basically it looking like a large child spat up all over me, but i drenched myself in water to wash it off and decided that looking like I had peed myself was better than staining my new purchases from H&M.  2 hours after that, i stilled looked like I peed myself, but made more rings and sent a happy crew of freshmen speaking the glories of the J-Shop and all seemed right with the world, except I had a beg decision to make.

Ok on that new job, so for those of you who don't know I am living in H-Town as the Artist in Residence at the Jewelry Studio.  Basically I have to make work, and help needy students. What I have done for 4 years except I get paid more, and get to use the studio whenever I want, and am the one blamed when someone burns down the place or cuts their finger off. The reason I am here is so I can exploit the college for all its resources and hopefully gain acceptance to Stanford's Product Design Program, to yet again exploit the resources of that institution. But in order to get in a need all new work, but in order to make new work I need money/ need to have money to feed and shelter myself until I reach the glorious rays of Cali.  So working at the Studio was my in, except after expenses and eating sparingly I would have very little money if any at all to make work. I contemplated a Pimping business, but with Daisy working a different street I decided the Hop was the best place for me to turn for employment. 

So I got offered the Student Marketing Coordinator position in the Hop.  It was Mike A'micos job last year.  It seems like a fantastic opportunity, but it stressful (probably) is meant to be 30 hours a week and starts yesterday.  As in when I sat in the office yesterday being told what the position was like.  I left that meeting with a lot on my mind and a bit of homework.  So i sat overnight pondering the documents i was given to analyze and thinking about the SPEECH I would have to give in 3 days, (now 2 days) about how great the Hop is to all the freshman.  Yes remember Hop night when we all got ugly free Hop shirts, well if you were a '12 you would be listening to me, or whoever would be the new Mike A'mico speak.  Well I went in today to the meeting after analyzing the crazy amount handed to me and decided that Martha would do it and so should I, with major exceptions. Its a 23 hour work week and I get an Intern, I have far fewer projects than Mike had and get more of a say as to what projects will be worked on and maybe I might just get health Insurance.  (also something of major importance since my fathers employer stopped caring about my health after I graduated) 

So yes its a lot of work, yes I am starting something very different and probably very bureaucratic, but I will be able to eat (and even go to Umplbys without sacrificing the rent), make beautiful work and have something to take with me into my next job if Stanford decided to pass on me for the year. 

So yeah that Speech, well I expressed my concerns to the Hop men in charge of Hop Night, and they all laughed and told me that I didn't have to do it, but it would be super helpful if I did. But if I decide to not do it I can still have the job.  So that was good, but I decided Martha would do it, as would Oprah.  And since i like to consider myself the love child of Martha and Oprah who is a designer, I to should do it.  And when i figure out how to photoshop that lovechild image together I will be sure to pass it on. 

Alright ladies I am hungry as hell, and now that I can afford to eat more than peanut butter sandwiches let me allow myself to cook dinner. I may post a little more later but for now signing off and sending my love from H-Town.

Ladies, it's come down to this:

Id like to present to you two emails I woke up to this morning.
They represent the wide WIDE range of options I have recently been frantically pursuing in my desperation NOT to have to accept yet another NY corporate job ive been offered.
(WHY ME?! no seriously!! why do I -playwright, poet, supposed free spirit- continue to only be able to land jobs in the ONE city I dont want to live in, in the ONE field of work im totally opposed to???)
Clearly i'm cut out to be a soul-less drone.

Its obviously advertised all over me and i blame you people for not informing me of it earlier. Thats totally your job as friends. "uh, hey, D, i think you've got a little somethin on your face there... lets see, oh, hey, wow, SOUL-LESS DRONE IS WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR FOREHEAD."
Well, i think these emails really are very telling of how crazy it is in my head as a result of this most agonizing time in all our lives:

Dear Daisy,

Wow, what's a Yankee like you doing looking to wrangle way out in the west? Well, we'd love to have you down here on the ranch but unfortunately all of our horses head down to lower pastures by November. We are open year round and need help over the winter but its for cooking and housekeeping. There is outdoor work as well but mainly around shoveling and ferrying guests on snowmobiles. If you're keen on any of that you just let me know. Otherwise, please send your resume if you're interested in the possibility of wrangling next summer.

Thanks.

Jack Allard
Owner
Coulter Lake Guest Ranch

And then:

Daisy,
I would be glad to talk with you. Please call my assistant Catherine and let's set up a time for you to come into the agency or get on the phone.
Thanks,

Phil

Chief Brand Officer

Arnold Worldwide

...in case you didnt notice, I included links to the two establishments in question here...

just so you could see how EFFING CRAZY MY JOB SEARCH REALLY IS.

good news is, phil is a D grad and as you can see, the CBO of a massive and very wonderful pr/branding firm that i would very very much like to be a part of.

they came up with the "Truth" campaigns, as in, anti-tobacco, among other things.

but of course thats only a D-network connection and i might go all the way into his office and it will come to nothing besides a lovely chat.

but at least, you know, if that happens, i can always head down to Colorado and get keen on housekeepin!

(find below a picture of what ill be looking like when i come back. at least, in my mind)

sigh.

what have our lives devolved to?

or is it just me?

IM SO GLAD WERE DOING THIS BLOG!

question mark.

thats been the recent theme of our phone calls, emails, texts and even blog posts.

whether weve got a job, got a job offer, got no job offer but searching, got no idea what job wed even want to be offered, no idea what a job even is, no idea where we want to be in the future, no idea where we are right now, were all working through our own massive question marks.

maybe the only thing not in question is how seriously we need to stay connected.

for posterity, and on the off chance that anyone besides us reads this, im posting excerpts from the email conversation that decided the name of this crazy beautiful experiment.

if it doesn't clarify the name of the blog it will at least show our readers the kind of special, special people they've just encountered...

D to all five

subject: blog name options:
"the tricky part is finding something some loser hasnt taken who then only posted once in 2003. pissed me off to find a few of my good ideas taken. like 'five cents'. or five sense.
here are a few things i came up with from urban dictionary having to do with five that are not allready taken.
five across the eye (a slap)
five will get you ten (an old saying meaning that odds are good)
five cents short of a quarter
five points above
*five-by (an on the go high five without stopping. dorky but hilarious. i kind of like that one)
five-by-five (a way of saying everythings cool)"

J to all five:

"am I the only one who thinks this is like the sisterhood of the traveling blog?"

L to all five:

"oh my god YES...so true, although hopefully with less angst and better pants?
also, i love the "five-by" idea, both in principle and possibly in blog name
i also suggest using broadway names as the blog name.....just throwing that out there, i mean the dolly parton musical 9 to 5 IS coming this fall about working women (or since i don't currently have a job, les miserables? no? sorry, i've been reading the broadway blogs where musical humor is BIG)"

A to all five:

"im keen on both the five-by (and five across the eyes, sassy but a bit on the violent side) and i actually like 9 to 5 as well
what about a golden girls reference? anyone? :D"

JE to all five:

"does anyone else remember the fab five from queer eye for the straight guy? no? no takers? hrmm.."

L to all five:

"i am ALL FOR golden girls reference....thats real wisdom
also, i attached 9 to 5 for everyone's enjoyment.....who doesn't love a little dolly sometimes? this blog should definitely have a music component"

Boomp3.com

D to all five:

"the fab fives been used in a few other ways and, when referring to women, sounds a bit too much like the Great Eight, the self-titled eight most perfectly combed straightened, tanned and anorexic sluts who reigned over my highschool and were the terrors of all females on campus.
not us.
we COULD combine nine to five and five-by... nine to five-by?
but i kind of think five by is great since not all of us, or maybe actually none of us, are really working "9-5" per say. more like 8-8 if i take this job. or 10 pm to 6 am if i decide to throw in the towel and hit the street corner.
and five bying is kind of what were doing if were basically SOSing to eachother from across the country via this blog, handing off the post-baton form day to day between us, if you will."

L to all five:
"or you could spell it 5x........like 5x5, although then it looks like math with is a negative"

J to all five:
"Am i really the only one that thinks five by sounds like a drive by, shooting that is, A you live in LA you need to back me up on this
i drove for a little bit and made dinner then this explosion of blog naming occurred
I like 9 to 5, and sisterhood of the traveling blog people!
and D tell me what corner you are working"

D to all five:

"yes it sounds like drive by! a five by is the high five version of a drive by!

how about 9-5?
and call it ninetofivequestionmark
because really, who are we to call ourselves 9-5 when were just plainly not all working girls and those of us who are arent really doing anything so standard?
and questionmark is a clear reference to L.
any thoughts?
and i dont fucking know what corner im working. possibly hanover, J. you might see me up there soon selling my goods on frat row."

L to all five:

"umm several things:
1)D if you work the hanover corner you could be like dan weintraub the "musician" giving away free dirt cowboy last year if you listened to his cd OR like the crazy-face cowboy guy who also stalked out that corner
2) D five-by is NOT like a high-five drive-by--we are not shooting each other! i would describe it as more of an "air" high five
3) YES! ninetofivequestionmark! YES!
4) J i watched betty last night and think i need to be brought up to speed so that i am fully prepared for the premiere"

D to all five:
"....thank you for educating me on the history of hanover-corner-working.
ill be sure to call myself the free dirty cowgirl in honor of those who have come before."

A to all five:

"oh can i do wednesday! it's hump day!! ::just imagine the grin that goes with that statement::

Also
i do want to back up j on the driveby/fiveby business
and any suggestions for my posting name? the obvious choice is either A or murray, but i don't want to box myself in with just murray...
as a side note, it makes very happy to report that all of my sponsored links provided by gmail reference golden girls, ha"