whathefack

in part out of protest for the lack of posting and in part becuase i feel like a gerbil on a wheel rolling down hill, i did not post last week. and then i worked a 13 hour day yesterday and didnt post yesterday either. and now i feel like a neglectful mother.
so im posting though i have almost nothing to say because despite the overworking, im happy. and as you all well know, im a ranter. when theres nothing to rant about, i pretty much go on mute.
i think its time for a change, im going soft.
i feel a little vanilla yogurty. a little foggy. a little over-simplifed, subdued, contented in a post-labotomy kind of way.

here are my updates in ultimate lazy form, bullets:
* i just completed a 432 line 8 column spreadsheet for work. perhaps this is why i feel like a wet blanket. the project took me two weeks and prompted me to vow to my parents (thats when it gets serious,when im swearing on my mothers life, to my mother) that i WILL quit this job even if i havent found a new one, in six months
* on the other end of the spectrum my boss asked me to write and read a poem for her wedding. ive been working on it. gone through about thirty drafts and am back to a blank page. i think this might be the toughest writing assignment of my life.
* im in a relationship. i should stop pretending i'm not because its getting me in trouble. i might be in trouble anyway since a signifigant portion of me is rejecting the idea of being in a relationship, but i'll deal with that later.
* i'm going to southampton for memorial day. note, i did not say home. i wrote home and then i erased it because it doesnt feel like home. boston feels like home. this is signifigant i think. anyway brit will be back from her incredible south american adventure and the entire original crew of my youth will be flocking back to the territory and i cant believe that at this time last year we were all about to graduate. it is outrageous how much has passed in this year.
anyway home or not home or second home, i miss southampton and its potato fields and peach-filled farm stands and white fenced horse farms and im really ready to eat my mother cooking again.
post updates, my friends, it does a body good. i feel a little less like tofu already.
love
D